Gay missonary
His mom was not thrilled about him investigating the LDS Church, so he met with the missionaries at my home, in my bedroom, and I was present as he received the discussions. A moment of truth for me was on my first night in the mission field.
Bill got married when I was starting grad school, and has since had several wonderful children. One of my best friends, Bill McAlister, accepted my invitation the summer I was home from my first year at BYU, as I was preparing to leave for my mission.
In high school, I gave signed copies of the Book of Mormon to all my friends, and to teachers and acquaintances whom I loved and respected. Pornhub is home to the widest selection of free Blowjob sex videos full of the hottest pornstars.
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Nobody ever asked me if I had such feelings, though wondering if I should have confessed them became a major source of worry in my life. After praying for the night, the lights went out and we each went to our cots. At the end of the day, as was customary then in the mission field, my companion and I stripped down to our undergarments, sat down at the small dining table in our one-room apartment and prayed and studied the scriptures together.
I was very aware, as we were doing this, of how attractive I found him. His parents were understanding, but navigating life a gay Mormon tee. It did not help that praying and studying together made me feel emotionally and spiritually close to him as well.
I fasted and prayed with the missionaries the week before they challenged him to missonary baptized, and I wept gay of joy when he accepted. Weston Smith came out as gay while his dad was serving as a bishop in the Mormon church. Unable to sleep, I wept tears of discouragement.
In any event, I kept my feelings a closely guarded secret for the next 10 years of my life, hoping that through prayer and personal righteousness I could overcome them. I felt a deep love for the individuals we taught, and a yearning to see them accept the Gospel and be baptized and let it change their lives for the better.
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After my companion had fallen asleep, I slipped out of bed missonary to my knees. I became aware of my attraction to other boys my age at about the age of I occasionally wonder how my life would have been different if I had felt able to trust my parents and Church leaders enough to share my internal struggles with them.
I invited a number of my closest friends in high school to receive the missionary discussions. Shortly before reporting to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, I had the privilege of baptizing him. Bill and I are still friends.
And he is still an active, faithful member of the Church, for which it is hard to adequately describe how grateful I feel. I felt the Spirit as we taught and bore testimony to investigators. Initially, one of the more distressing challenges of being a full-time missionary had to do with living in very close quarters with other young men to whom I was attracted.
I cried out to God gay distress: I thought I would be over this by now! Stuart Matis, the gay grandson of Henry Matis, whom my grandfather helped convert to the LDS Church, confided in his parents and Church leaders, and his life ended tragically, in suicide.
I was amazed by their courage and boldness in inviting total strangers to learn about the Gospel.